This post isn’t going to be related to a moment I experienced in anime this year, but more so a reflection on my experience with writing over the last two months. I wasn’t really planning on writing something like this, but couple of things happened yesterday that made me to want to get my thoughts down.
First off, I read a fantastic post written by All Hail Haruhi on ani-blogging that was extremely relatable (highly recommended for anyone who has written anything ever). I started this blog over two months ago and set off to write and publish an essay within a couple days of my first introduction post. This however was followed by a month of silence. I had fallen into a cycle of self-doubt and unhappiness with my own work that was immediately followed by the scrapping of whatever I had just dedicated so many of my hours to. This continued non-stop for almost three weeks before I gave up and distracted myself with other things.
I wrote a really self-deprecating intro paragraph for an update post… So glad I decided against posting that thing.
Fortunately for me, I managed to kick myself out of the rut by spontaneously deciding to write during the 12 days of anime. I told myself that I wouldn’t prepare anything and I would simply write. The whole reason why I wanted to start a blog for precisely for practice and there was no shame in putting out something that would definitely not be my best work ever.
Fours days into this challenge and I’m feeling pretty good. Going into this I was expecting nothing – no responses, comments, feedback, or anything, and I was okay with that. I might have even preferred that outcome when I first started. Putting your work out to the public is a very, very scary thing. Especially for me, as a person in a career that has very little to do with writing. In my day-to-day work I rarely – if ever – have to write in this way for any more than a sentence. So you can imagine my surprise when I got my first view, and comment, and like. And even more amazing than that, these first few moments of online contact were from people that I’ve respected and followed for quite a while.
I spent an embarrassing amount of time freaking out yesterday.
I’m super glad that I decided to start on this challenge, but of course I still worry a lot about the quality of my work. Luckily, I’m in a better place than I was in November and the time constraint for the challenge doesn’t give me enough time to even think about re-writing things. It seems that there’s a long road ahead of me when it comes to ani-blogging or online writing in general, but so far things are looking bright.