So a couple days ago, I finally got to experience Aqours’ first live (a Love Live concert, for the uninitiated) in a theatre filled with hundreds of crazy and awesome fans. Being able to see the performance in such a high energy environment made the whole thing way more enjoyable. People were out of their seats screaming, crying, and singing along to the songs that we’ve all probably listened to a million times. Yup, everybody wore their passion on them like a badge for everyone to see (sometimes literally).
…And then there was me. Sitting quietly like a dead fish in a sea of coelacanths.
You’d think that in a place like that, surrounded by literally hundreds of like-minded fans, that it’d be easy to let go and vocally express my love for this thing. But for me, being a “passionate fan” is a hard thing to do. A mix of a fear of embarrassment, an inherent need to not to impose on others (in this case, imposing on their ears), and a lack of confidence in my abilities, was what held me back. And these things were a byproduct of my upbringing. Growing up, being “passionate” about something without the perfect execution usually led to being ostracized or humiliated. Expressing passion for anything that wasn’t popular was a point of weakness that could be exploited. As a general rule, I tried not to stand out and went with the flow and popular opinion.
But things are different now. Now, more than ever, people are encouraged to pursue their passions and share it with the world. And right now, I’m in a position where I can be a passionate fan without very many social repercussions (if I do it right). So I want to! And the only thing that’s holding me back is myself. Unfortunately, that’s a huge hurdle that I’ve yet to overcome. The whole “confidence in my abilities” thing is a big reason why I haven’t written anything about my favorite anime yet.
That’s what makes me respect and adore those that can do what I haven’t been able to yet. So here’s to all the passionate fans out there. All the fan-translators, the fan-artists, my fellow ani-bloggers, and everyone that celebrated our mutual love for Love Live in that theatre that night. You guys are awesome and I hope to be right there with you all someday soon.
Source for the excellent intro art here.